News Release

For Immediate Release Anthony Molino

207-555-5555

Anthony_Molino@umaine.com

Unexpected Relief from Afar

Bangor (ME) - The University of Maine may be 1834 miles away from Haiti, but that won’t stop the Black Bears from finding a way to help out. Last month, an earthquake devastated the small country of Haiti, bringing down homes and businesses as well as killing more than 200,000 people. In an effort to help relieve the country, the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee has planned a raffle and numerous donation areas at the school’s home hockey game this Saturday against the University of Massachusetts-Lowell.

The group will hope to draw in a lot of money with a kayak as a grand prize. Raffle tickets are being sold at the entrances for five dollars for the first ticket then one dollar for each following ticket. All of the money raised will go to Haiti’s relief organizations.

The game between the River Hawks (15-13-2) and the Black Bears (14-11-3) will start at 7pm Saturday. It will be the second of the two match-ups the teams play this weekend.

Bibliography

http://www.uscho.com/m/maine-black-bears/mens-college-hockey/team,me.html

http://www.uscho.com/m/mass-lowell-river-hawks/mens-college-hockey/team,uml.html

http://goblackbears.cstv.com/genrel/012110aac.html

Profile Story

When Gary Lane first got accepted to the University of Maine in January of 2009 he never thought he would become a participant in the University’s Alpine Race Team. He claims that he is “just average” right now, but his performances have steadily increased since the beginning of the season.

Gary started skiing when he was nine years old with the sole expectation of having fun. He is still having fun but now he is doing it as a part of a team. He said, “When the opportunity came, I had to take advantage.” Although his skill level has dramatically improved, little else seemed to change. When he was a young boy growing up in Groveland, Massachusetts, the nearest major ski resorts were about two hours from his house; he is in pretty much the same situation in Orono as far as driving goes.

As well as being a part of the team, he is also a member of the University’s Ski Club, and the Maine Outing Club. Even with all of these different activities, Gary still managed to earn a 3.0 grade-point-average for the first semester of his freshman year.

Gary’s next race will be at 9:30am this Saturday at Hermon Mountain. It’s just a short drive from campus which will be “a nice change of pace” because his previous races have all been at least an hour away. He’s not too concerned with how well he will do in the race, he said that he was “nervous at first, but [he’s] now becoming more at ease with the pressure”; he also believes that the future is “wide open with possibilities.”

Newscast Critique

The video that I chose to review was from the Bangor news channel, WVII. It was a clip from the newscast that focused on an 18-year-old that was being charged with murder. There were many unscripted parts of the newscast because the reporters asked the suspect’s friends what there opinions were on his conviction. This made the assignment more difficult but there were still numerous changes that could have been made to the scripted parts of the broadcast.

One of the first things that I noticed in the video was that the reporter used unnecessary words in her story that could have been taken out to make the story more brief. An example of this is when she said “According to a court affidavit, two groups of teens had planned to meet last Wednesday evening to fight. The altercation ended up taking place on Cumberland Street that night.” The word “had” in the first sentence is not necessary nor is “ended up” in the second sentence. I think these two sentences could have been made into one shorter sentence like, “According to a court affidavit, the incident took place during a planned fight between two groups of teens on Cumberland Street, Wednesday night.” I would rather the statement be made this way because it sounds more brief and does not repeat things like the time.

Overall, there were not many errors, or changes that needed to be made to the newscast. The entire clip was done using active voice but if I had been in charge of editing, I would have made the statements more assertive. The reporter seemed to speak with a very “unsure” tone; frequently using terms like, “has been” or “had planned.” If she had taken out the extra words like “has” or “had”, she would have been more convincing, or seem more knowledgeable on the subject.

Citations:

http://www.wvii.com/ (Carr in Court-video)